| Forum » Doubts and questions » How do I stop my players from being morons? | Date | |
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This is a serious question. My players seem to be unable to pass, tackle, stay on their feet, shoot, run, mark players, take free kicks... basically all the things that you should be able to do to play football. What do I do? I've tried yelling at the screen during the match, but it doesn't help in any way. What am I doing wrong? | 15/04/2019 10:20 |
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Wow, serious question, that's for me. On a lighter note, I'd say you should give them some solid food and also try some steroids. But on a much serious note, I'd say that, they're doing exactly what you programmed them to do to the best of their abilities! |
15/04/2019 13:38 |
| 🦊3773™ - Div2/Gr1 | ||
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Oyewale On This!  |
15/04/2019 22:41 |
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mateoqueteveo said: This is a serious question. My players seem to be unable to pass, tackle, stay on their feet, shoot, run, mark players, take free kicks... basically all the things that you should be able to do to play football. What do I do? I've tried yelling at the screen during the match, but it doesn't help in any way. What am I doing wrong? If I'm permitted to express, I guess your play or effort is not up to the task. Stands to be corrected bcos you're a boss manager... |
15/04/2019 22:54 |
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Dear Mateo... I can really help here. this is my specialisation. In order to understand the situation, I personally (under disguise) visited your stadium during one of the training sessions. Spoke to a few of your players as well pretending to be a fan. That was risky behaviour as even they were surprised that they have fans as I was the only person watching the training. Good news is that they like you. You are doing everything ok, not great, but ok. They have also heard your screams through the screen and feel bad that you have bad tonsils. So keep on supporting them as you normally do. The problem area, my friend is that you have 6 Brazilians and 5 Portuguese players in your squad. And that you are not a Brazilian. That really changes the dynamics of the team. As you would rightly know both these countries share a very strong cultural past considering Brazil was a Portuguese colony. And one of the main shared cultural point is Partying. You and I, when we party, we go a nightclub, have a few, dance with few ladies and during one point in the night, we pass out. Not these chaps... when they party, they PARTYYY. They not only go full on, but actually even get others in the team to party like them. Officially the party ends at 6 am in the morning. But normally they are partying till midday, for full 12 hours. There is loud music, girls, crazy costumes and lot of madness involved. While all this is good for the team unity, I believe it has reached to a level that football has taken a backseat and the only thing the team likes to do is paint the town red after the payday. My suggestion, keep an official party day per week (you can't eliminate it or you will have a mutiny in your hands) and urge them to concentrate on football for the rest of the days. Or alternatively, sell a few of these Brazil and Portuguese players to me so you have more balanced team. Of course, since I will be doing you a favour, I expect a massive discount. Hope this helps. |
16/04/2019 06:52 |
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😂😂 i always look forward to Spades comments (brilliant) | 16/04/2019 07:21 |
| Winning Eleven United - Div3/Gr1 | ||
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Spade said: Dear Mateo... I can really help here. this is my specialisation. In order to understand the situation, I personally (under disguise) visited your stadium during one of the training sessions. Spoke to a few of your players as well pretending to be a fan. That was risky behaviour as even they were surprised that they have fans as I was the only person watching the training. Good news is that they like you. You are doing everything ok, not great, but ok. They have also heard your screams through the screen and feel bad that you have bad tonsils. So keep on supporting them as you normally do. The problem area, my friend is that you have 6 Brazilians and 5 Portuguese players in your squad. And that you are not a Brazilian. That really changes the dynamics of the team. As you would rightly know both these countries share a very strong cultural past considering Brazil was a Portuguese colony. And one of the main shared cultural point is Partying. You and I, when we party, we go a nightclub, have a few, dance with few ladies and during one point in the night, we pass out. Not these chaps... when they party, they PARTYYY. They not only go full on, but actually even get others in the team to party like them. Officially the party ends at 6 am in the morning. But normally they are partying till midday, for full 12 hours. There is loud music, girls, crazy costumes and lot of madness involved. While all this is good for the team unity, I believe it has reached to a level that football has taken a backseat and the only thing the team likes to do is paint the town red after the payday. My suggestion, keep an official party day per week (you can't eliminate it or you will have a mutiny in your hands) and urge them to concentrate on football for the rest of the days. Or alternatively, sell a few of these Brazil and Portuguese players to me so you have more balanced team. Of course, since I will be doing you a favour, I expect a massive discount. Hope this helps. Spade boss, I can really tell you are right cos he got a very nice team and good great players but they forsake football and think otherwise in the field of play. I suggest you auction them at the same time and bring in new players or change your effort and some tactics. I know you might have tried the latter cos you are a boss too. |
16/04/2019 08:12 |
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Also, there's another point. The team name is Doornails FC, the players are laser focused on their carpentry work and might be very tired when they get to the field of play, can't blame them! |
16/04/2019 08:18 |
| 🦊3773™ - Div2/Gr1 | ||
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@Oyewale said: Wow, serious question, that's for me. On a lighter note, I'd say you should give them some solid food and also try some steroids. But on a much serious note, I'd say that, they're doing exactly what you programmed them to do to the best of their abilities! haaaaa  haaaa |
16/04/2019 08:19 |
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@Oyewale said: Wow, serious question, that's for me. On a lighter note, I'd say you should give them some solid food and also try some steroids. But on a much serious note, I'd say that, they're doing exactly what you programmed them to do to the best of their abilities! Hmmmm, that's another point waoh |
16/04/2019 08:24 |
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