Forum » Off-topic » Jokes | Date | |
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nice | 13/04/2019 16:50 |
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s.prince said: pls o what did u think happen to my egg that fall from the plane Questions and answers with the google app |
13/04/2019 16:57 |
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Bar Alade said: 1. The way I'm broke now, I'm thinking of selling our dog & Den�I will be doing the barking at night 2. This is serious I wanted to cross the main road today and a tortoise car almost hitted me!�I shouted "I rebuked it in Jesus Name".�of all the good cars why tortoise car! Can he pay the bills�The owner came out saying i'm insulting him. 3. Some parents can send unnecessary messages when they see you doing nothing.�like: MACCA! Go and check whether there is air outside 4. Some girls love food so much, you will take her to the zoo and ask what's her favourite animal and she will answer: "Roasted Chicken". 5. When a girl ask you for N50,000 and you gave her N100,000 instead. She will be like: "Thanks sir, but don't forget the N50,000 I asked you oo. 6. That moment you are struggling for food at a wedding and mistakenly disconnected the speaker wire with your leg.�Now all eyes are on you. You will just realise that you have bellefull under 3 seconds. 7. If u want to lose weight without going to the gym support Chelsea this season. ???? 8. Joe : Dr I have a problem of forgetting.�Dr : When did the problem start?�Joe : Which problem?�???? 9. I always learn from the mistakes of the people who follow my advice. 10. One company owner asks another: “Tell me, Bill, how come your employees are always on time in the mornings?” Bill replies: “Easy. 30 employees and 20 parking spaces.” 11. Two donkeys are standing at a roadside, one asks the other: So, shall we cross? - The other shakes his head: "No way, look at what happened to the zebra." 12. Grandfather: my children I have 80 million in my bank account and u all don't know my password, I can tell u guys now It is 42- - And he died. Pls wetin you wan do? 13. I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone. 14. A policeman was marking the assignment of his two sons.He marked the senior child's own and flogged him.He turned to the junior child,opened his book and without saying a word,walked away. The older one turned and asked the young one "you way no sabi anything,why papa no beat you?".The younger one said "I put $20 in my book.U forget say papa na policeman? 15. Can't laugh alone. Boko haram members entered a church while the service was going on. They asked the ushers to close every door and windows so that nobody will escape. They counted the number of worshippers and they were 150. They told them they would kill 100 out of these 150 members but in an alphabetical order of names, starting with the pastors. They approached the senior pastor asking:"What's your name?" The pastor said Zechariah Zwingina. The next pastor said Zebedee Zaccheus, the third pastor said Zemmanuel Zwiliams. They approached the elders. The first one said Zarepath Zolomon. The next one said Zalade Zomorin. The next one said Zetunji Zolusegun Zesther, Zimilehin. They approached the choir and the first chorister out of fear pointed to the organist and said his name is Abraham Ahmadu. The Organist screamed: "He is a liar. My name is Zabraham Zahmadu." If you were in the congregation, what will be your name? ANSWER MY QUESTION OOO. I've seen something like this in the yeah 1000BC 😜😜✌ |
13/04/2019 18:04 |
OYEWALE FC - Div3/Gr16 | ||
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Fc Real Borboi said: Bar Alade said: 1. The way I'm broke now, I'm thinking of selling our dog & Den�I will be doing the barking at night 2. This is serious I wanted to cross the main road today and a tortoise car almost hitted me!�I shouted "I rebuked it in Jesus Name".�of all the good cars why tortoise car! Can he pay the bills�The owner came out saying i'm insulting him. 3. Some parents can send unnecessary messages when they see you doing nothing.�like: MACCA! Go and check whether there is air outside 4. Some girls love food so much, you will take her to the zoo and ask what's her favourite animal and she will answer: "Roasted Chicken". 5. When a girl ask you for N50,000 and you gave her N100,000 instead. She will be like: "Thanks sir, but don't forget the N50,000 I asked you oo. 6. That moment you are struggling for food at a wedding and mistakenly disconnected the speaker wire with your leg.�Now all eyes are on you. You will just realise that you have bellefull under 3 seconds. 7. If u want to lose weight without going to the gym support Chelsea this season. ???? 8. Joe : Dr I have a problem of forgetting.�Dr : When did the problem start?�Joe : Which problem?�???? 9. I always learn from the mistakes of the people who follow my advice. 10. One company owner asks another: âTell me, Bill, how come your employees are always on time in the mornings?â Bill replies: âEasy. 30 employees and 20 parking spaces.â 11. Two donkeys are standing at a roadside, one asks the other: So, shall we cross? - The other shakes his head: "No way, look at what happened to the zebra." 12. Grandfather: my children I have 80 million in my bank account and u all don't know my password, I can tell u guys now It is 42- - And he died. Pls wetin you wan do? 13. I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone. 14. A policeman was marking the assignment of his two sons.He marked the senior child's own and flogged him.He turned to the junior child,opened his book and without saying a word,walked away. The older one turned and asked the young one "you way no sabi anything,why papa no beat you?".The younger one said "I put $20 in my book.U forget say papa na policeman? 15. Can't laugh alone. Boko haram members entered a church while the service was going on. They asked the ushers to close every door and windows so that nobody will escape. They counted the number of worshippers and they were 150. They told them they would kill 100 out of these 150 members but in an alphabetical order of names, starting with the pastors. They approached the senior pastor asking:"What's your name?" The pastor said Zechariah Zwingina. The next pastor said Zebedee Zaccheus, the third pastor said Zemmanuel Zwiliams. They approached the elders. The first one said Zarepath Zolomon. The next one said Zalade Zomorin. The next one said Zetunji Zolusegun Zesther, Zimilehin. They approached the choir and the first chorister out of fear pointed to the organist and said his name is Abraham Ahmadu. The Organist screamed: "He is a liar. My name is Zabraham Zahmadu." If you were in the congregation, what will be your name? ANSWER MY QUESTION OOO. I've seen something like this in the yeah 1000BC í ½í¸í ½í¸â Ehn? My brother, you need Jesus in your life. Even my grandfather can't testify to have seen B-) these 1000BC LWKMD |
13/04/2019 21:22 |
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lolxZ | 14/04/2019 05:38 |
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977 msgs.
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1. A girl came nd met u @ queue in line of the ATM, she ask us is it paying no we came to collect our voters card... Nonsense 2. Dis one am seeing marriage every where dey should not do nd marry my future wife.. Chaiiiii. 3. ITS SOME TRIBE'S CHILDREN THAT WILL PURSUE A FOWL TILL IT WILL HAVE MUSCLE PULL. 4. All these little boys coming to my inbox to hi and hello me, I don't have biscuits for you o. 5. I hate that girl much. You'll try making call and she'll be saying "Your account is too low to make this call." Oops! Just came back from a sabbatical leave |
17/04/2019 00:49 |
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8 msgs.
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Edited by @Oyewale 17-04-2019 15:48 |
17/04/2019 11:01 |
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977 msgs.
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Recharge This Cards Pls Fastest finger 34415666789127 MTN 1000 51233566689996 MTN 500 45467781236785 Airtel 1000 46612345778190 Airtel 500 67811334994758 9mobile 1000 67363637329992 9mobile 500 26363737377889 Glo 1000 23373689900236 Glo 500 That is how I will be sending you Guys Airtime when I become very Rich. I'm just using this one as rehearsal. Just keep praying for me to Hammer.. |
17/04/2019 23:43 |
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977 msgs.
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WATCHING FOOTBALL WITH A WOMAN IS REALLY STRESSFUL Wife: which teams are playing. Husband: Arsenal vs Manchester United Wife : oooh wonderful! I love Arsenal.. Husband: that's a good team... Wife: is Drogba playing ? Husband: he doesn't play for any of these teams... Wife: okay sweeet...is that Chris Brown? Husband: [bored] no he is Chamberlain ... Wife kay but they look the same...what's that yellow card for. Husband: its a warning to the player. .. After few minutes Rooney scores for Manchester United.... Wife: [cerebrates in high mood] is that Chamberlain who has scored ? Husband: [calmly] no its Rooney for Manchester United ...!! Wife: [furious] how ? it should be arsenal who should have scored !! Husband: [silent] Wife: what is that red card for ? Husband : [bored] that means the player should go out of the pitch for misbehaving. Wife: then is he going to be a coach ? Husband:[unwilling to answer] aaaaaaa no ... Wife: its the same with traffic lights: yellow=warning;red=danger. Husband: exactly darling... Wife :what about the green card ? Husband: mmmm nothing of that kind in a field of play .... Wife: I want arsenal to win the world cup ... Husband: [silent] Wife: who is that man standing who looks like Mr. Bean ? Husband: [bored] it's the Arsenal coach ....Arsene Wenger. Wife: that means the other opponent's coach is Manchest Wenger ? Husband: [changes the channel to MTV BASE ] |
17/04/2019 23:45 |
- Div/Gr | ||