Forum » Off-topic » LOL 😁 LOL 😁 | Date | |
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Mr Temmy said: amson said: Your monthly salary : $900000 Your child's school fees: $700000 And you hear your child saying: Capital Letter Five.... And Small Letter Five.::::: i will just take him to the market nd sell him *lolz.......... Am very sure that when u get to the market with your product; a consumer will ask u is it tested and trusted?... What will be ur respond? |
07/05/2018 22:04 |
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MY DAUGHTER'S MARRIAGE LIST!!! 1) 3 cows 2) 16 bags of rice 3) 72 litres of red oil 4) 15 iphone 6+ 5) 12 bags of salt 6) 18 largest inch plasma tv with stabilizer each 7) 2 range rover sport car....latest models pls 8) 150 imported Uk bags for her mother 9) 700 versace shoes not ABA made abeg 10) 5 apple laptops new ones 11) 5 ipads 12) 16 set of boxes from Dubai 13) 10 washing machines 14) 50 bags of Semovita and 45 bags of wheat 15) 1 big sack of kolanut 16) 20 dozen of boxers and singlets 17) 90 carton of frozen chicken 18) 98 crate of Mineral 19) 14 deep freezer must be of good product. 20) Must build a mansion for 8 member of her family and sponsor their kids to study in Oxford university 21) Must open a shopping mall for her mother in UK 22) You must treat her like a Queen 23) HER BRIDE PRICE WILL BE JUST 30 NAIRA COS WE'RE NOT SELLING HER OUT... Thank you |
08/05/2018 17:47 |
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POLICE DEY READ BIBLE OOO!!! On Lagos-Ibadan express road, a Pastor met a team of policemen who, quite naturally, wanted 'something' from him. Since he was not prepared to play their games, they asked for his papers. Having combed through everything without any offence with which to nail the 'stubborn' Pastor, they asked him to open the bonnet of his car. A careful scrutiny of the engine number against what was on the paper revealed that letter U was written in such a way that it could be mistaken for letter V. That was all the officer-in-charge needed to shout "stolen vehicle! Sensing trouble, even when he knew he committed no offence, the Pastor called the OC to say he was a priest to which the officer replied "Please, leave that pastor thing...in any case, if you are indeed a Pastor,then you must have a Bible in your car, bring it."The Pastor did as was commanded after which the officer now ordered: "Please read Matthew 5:25, 26 to me".The incredulous Pastor opened the passage and read: "Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to a judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth; you will not get out until you have paid the last penny." Matthew 5:25, 26 (If u don't believe open and read for urself)The man of God quietly made an "offering" of one N100 to his newly found "preacher ""End of service! Go in peace and argue no more," said the policeman |
11/05/2018 19:49 |
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One day during the family lunch the youngest son asks his father: - Daddy, what is the difference between potential and reality? Daddy turns to his wife and gives her a question: - Would you sleep with George Clooney for 1 million $? - Certainly, I would never waste such opportunity, - tells the wife Daddy turns to his teenage daughter: - Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million $? - Surely! He is my fantasy, his posters are all over the walls of my room. Daddy turns to his eldest son and asks: - Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million $! Eldest son thinks a little and replies: - Why not? Imagine what I could do with that money. So yes, I would sleep. Then daddy turns back to his youngest son and explains to him: - You see son, potentially we are sitting with multiple millionaires but in reality we are sitting with two prostitutes and one gay… Edited by mr sheggs 12-05-2018 02:22 |
12/05/2018 01:08 |
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wow!!! 😕😕 | 16/05/2018 16:35 |
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lolz | 17/05/2018 01:50 |
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Father, Mother, and their three sons, John (oldest), Mike (middle), and Steve (youngest) are conversing at the table after dinner. The subject of traits of parents being passed on to children comes up. The Father says, ''John has my eyes, Mike has my creativity, and Steve has my intelligence.'' Steve responds, ''Daddy, what's intelligence?'' |
20/05/2018 23:12 |
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LET'S KILL ENGLISH 1 hve u paid ur sch fees money? 2 all of u stand in a straight circle 3 i hve 3 daughters ,they are all gals 4 i saw u last night early this morning 5 heat is killin me o 6 i lyk the taste of the smell am hearing 7 she is a boy 8 i saw u here and i see u there ,are u twice? 9 pls increase de vol of the window,heat is happening to me 10 i came to ur hux today, u didn't dey 11 i see ur fada ,he is a man 12 be quiet,the principal is just passing away 13 did u see on the radio yesterday? 14 pls slow dat fan 15 i knw u hve com since ,becos i hear ur pefume 16 see hw her eye is entering my food 17 did u see the sound of my ringing tone 18 oya com nd be going pls 19 don't dare tall in front of my back 20 stop making noise lyk empty sandine tin of milk oya add urs let saw who kill english most commented urs favourite lumber |
07/07/2018 09:56 |
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amson said: LET'S KILL ENGLISH 1 hve u paid ur sch fees money? 2 all of u stand in a straight circle 3 i hve 3 daughters ,they are all gals 4 i saw u last night early this morning 5 heat is killin me o 6 i lyk the taste of the smell am hearing 7 she is a boy 8 i saw u here and i see u there ,are u twice? 9 pls increase de vol of the window,heat is happening to me 10 i came to ur hux today, u didn't dey 11 i see ur fada ,he is a man 12 be quiet,the principal is just passing away 13 did u see on the radio yesterday? 14 pls slow dat fan 15 i knw u hve com since ,becos i hear ur pefume 16 see hw her eye is entering my food 17 did u see the sound of my ringing tone 18 oya com nd be going pls 19 don't dare tall in front of my back 20 stop making noise lyk empty sandine tin of milk oya add urs let saw who kill english most commented urs favourite lumber that boy is not a deaf. |
07/07/2018 12:23 |
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amson said: MY DAUGHTER'S MARRIAGE LIST!!! 1) 3 cows 2) 16 bags of rice 3) 72 litres of red oil 4) 15 iphone 6+ 5) 12 bags of salt 6) 18 largest inch plasma tv with stabilizer each 7) 2 range rover sport car....latest models pls 8) 150 imported Uk bags for her mother 9) 700 versace shoes not ABA made abeg 10) 5 apple laptops new ones 11) 5 ipads 12) 16 set of boxes from Dubai 13) 10 washing machines 14) 50 bags of Semovita and 45 bags of wheat 15) 1 big sack of kolanut 16) 20 dozen of boxers and singlets 17) 90 carton of frozen chicken 18) 98 crate of Mineral 19) 14 deep freezer must be of good product. 20) Must build a mansion for 8 member of her family and sponsor their kids to study in Oxford university 21) Must open a shopping mall for her mother in UK 22) You must treat her like a Queen 23) HER BRIDE PRICE WILL BE JUST 30 NAIRA COS WE'RE NOT SELLING HER OUT... Thank you i will kuku marry the marriage list. |
07/07/2018 12:24 |
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