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  Forum » Foro Liga © The Olympus Circle™ C1 » Interviews Date
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 A random manager from any group shall be interviewed by a panel from Monday to Saturday, and the interview details will be published after Sunday's PL game. This means we will have 13 different interviews from different members of the PL throughout next season.

Although this feature was generalized by a certain manager some seasons ago - vijji - I thought it'd be cool if we could personalise it here. Plus, if you have any other suggestions as to how we can make this league more interesting, please let us know.

The panel members shall be oldfirm and sicox86. 		23/09/2014 17:25
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 An Olympic Chronicles EXCLUSIVE REPORT

Hopfner’s Glorious Gambit
A Look Inside FC Bayern Munchen’s Ali Agharabi and His Quest for Striker Manager Domination

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

While the FC Bayern Munich faithful were celebrating their latest treble, club president Karl Hopfner was on his third pork chop, as well as his third bong hit. A clearly distracted Hopfner, known as a very thoughtful decision maker, had a critical and controversial choice before him that would forever change the face and fortunes of the Mia San Mia.

But Hopfner first had to summon the courage to fire manager Jupp Heynckes, a competent and faithful servant, all because this once in a lifetime opportunity had just presented itself. But things were not quite as simple as they might sound. He had to make a decision, fraught with its own risks and complications. Hopfner’s dilemma was whether he should hire Barcelona mastermind Pep Guardiola, innovator and Godfather of “tiki-taka,” or saddle up his horses with up and comer Ali Agharabi, a precocious youngster who possesses both the mind, and apparently, the bank account, of Bill Gates.

When the Agharabi to Munich rumors first hit the interwebs, the Twitterverse and global media were all a tizzy that there was really no choice to be made, because Pep was the obvious choice. However, some in the Striker Manager community who are reportedly in know, were in the ear of Hopfner whispering that the young Agharabi is “the future of our great game.”

With such a decision weighing on his mind, Hopfner consumed an entire roll of Tums that fateful night …

Fast forward to 2014, and it is indeed Agharabi who is firmly ensconced as the Bavarian club’s new Kaiser. A Kaiser with purpose and audacious plans. Change was definitely in the air at Allianz Arena as Agharabi, like a battle-tested field colonel, immediately began orchestrating a number of transfers sending shockwaves throughout Striker Manager. The Mia San Mia bid adieu to a dynamic duo of midfielders in Patricio Ramos and Lionel Spinetto, while adding prize LF Vicente “Robben” Garzon, and defenders extraordinaire in Gregoor “D Alaba” Van Hasselt, Marlon “Dante” Bigode and Oliver Paul, to name a few. These shrewd, but expensive moves vaulted the Mia San Mia to Division 3 from Division 5 in just two short seasons.

Hopfner and the Mia San Mia were in a state of pure and absolute delirium. Every game at Allianz was like an out of control rave. Garzon, Van Hasselt, Bigode and Paul … move over Bale and Ronaldo … these are the new galacticos. His gambit was paying quick and lucrative dividends.

The Olympic Chronicle’s editor-in-chief Sicox, the Perry White of football journalism, called our entire news team to the carpet and demanded our august publication see for ourselves, “What’s causing all this?”

After our people talked to his people, we finally caught up with Ali in Gstaad, his off season home, where he was getting some well-deserved rest after leading his club to a Division 4 crown. After an early game of tennis with neighbor and close friend Roger Moore, of 007 fame, we sat down with Ali for a candid talk on football and life.

Nattily attired in a navy blue Brioni suit, burgundy Bruno Magli shoes and a red Bayern neck tie, Agharabi cuts a dashing and confident figure. He’s surrounded by a cadre of manservants and yes men who bring him a copy of the Financial Times, as well as a laptop so he can analyze and game plan for his latest opponent on the vaunted SM simulator.

A servant, Mr. Stevens, soon arrives with our morning repast, a healthy meal of oatmeal, berries and freshly brewed coffee.

Ali: I hope you enjoy the coffee. The beans were flown in directly from one of my plantations in the Guanacaste region of Costa Rica. And I might just open a school there the next time I check on my holdings. I’m definitely on the lookout for the next James Rodriguez.

The OC: Speaking of global talent, given all the recent moves you’ve made, its no surprise at all the club has experienced amazing success over the past few seasons. If you could put your finger on it what is the secret to the club's success?

Ali: That's why it's a secret. ^_^. The moves that have been made so far have ensured successive promotions in two seasons. The board toasted to that. The team's overall average was also up'ed by nearly 20 per cent; more toasts. Money has bought the club's successes so far. The secret is just simple - even when you have $10, 000 in cash and at hand, believe you are a billionaire!

The OC: That said, the club has got off to a less than ideal start in Division 3, dropping two of your first three. Do you think you’ve underestimated the strength of Division 3, or do you believe it’s a matter of fine tuning a strategy to meet the rigors of tougher competition?

Ali: For anyone to grossly underestimate the evil that lies within division 3, truly he needs some soft-boiled fetal ducks! We've lost the tempo. For now, I don't really see Bayern sliding back down to division 4, and I don't expect to see us among the first 8, 10 teams either. Something's gone awry tactically and there's just no time to resolve it. Apparently, we're gonna freaking lose out of our sponsorship deal; Souvenir promised me $16m for a top -four finish. "Top. 4?", you'd ask. "Then, you thought it was meat and drink!" It was purely a hope - never underestimated it.

The OC: Going forward, what changes do you feel you need to make to the club in the coming seasons to position yourself for Division 2?

Ali: Changes? I'm okay with division 3! ^_^

The OC: If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Ali: If that's the case, I've failed then.

The OC: What would you be doing if you were not famous?

Ali: Lemme confess here - I dislike fame. If it comes, I'll try to shun it. If it insists, I'll accept it. But, if it runs away from me, I'll offer a thanksgiving! I have this ideology:

A FOUNDATION BEARS THE WEIGHT OF ANY HOUSE, BUT IT IS UNSEEN; THE ROOT IS THE STRENGTH AND ANCHOR OF THE TREE, THOUGH IT IS HIDDEN. HENCE, I MIGHT NOT BE FAMOUS, BUT I WILL BE THE PEOPLE'S ROOT AND FOUNDATION.

So, if I was not famous, I'll probably be making more money.

The OC: Back to football, I’m sure the club’s media director Carl de Maitre would like to gauge the club’s interests in the services of an up and coming young defensive forward, Carl de Maitre, Jr. Is there any truth to the rumor that you have had discussions with Oldfirm about prying the youngster from Shaolin Corinthians?

Ali: Haha! That's some strategy! Daddy wants his son home, but his son says he'll rather die a Shaolin faithful! Carl might want him and might have discussed with oldie, but really, both parties haven't told me anything.

The OC: You’re known around the club as an indefatigable spirit. What songs best describes your work ethic?

Ali: Heavy metal. Electronica. This is where I'd like to know who and who follows Michael Cretu's Enigma project. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enigma_(musical_project)

The OC: I see your lovely lady Rihanna on break from her world tour, sunning herself in your heart shaped pool. My bosses insist I ask this question: Can you confirm or deny reports from Münstersche Zeitung and Die Zeit that Spinetto’s transfer was directly related to unsubstantiated romantic involvement between the Bahamian chanteuse and the Argentinian midfielder?

Ali: Spinetto is a eunuch - so he said.

The Olympic Chronicle Quick Six

The OC: Favorite Team?
Ali: FC Bayern Munich, of course - since 2010! I was a strong supporter of the Red Devils, not until Moyes took over. He tasted really, really sour.

The OC: Favorite Player?
Ali: That guy with a bald head, who raced from deep down the midfield line, out-ran that lazy Spanish defender, made Casilass eat grass, and slotted it home. Yes, if he doesn't lose a penalty in a career-defining game, he always feels unaccomplished.

The OC: Favorite Food?
Ali: When my fave started ravaging my skin, I stopped having faves!

The OC: If you were a porn star, what would your stage name be?
Ali: Sexy bitch! Never really thought of that - but, that's f*ckin' lame?!

The OC: If you had a million dollars what would you spend it on?
Ali: $100, 000 - I'm going to Fiji !!
$800, 000 - Treasury bills.
$100, 000 - I'll never wear a cloth twice !

The OC: My daughter insisted I ask this of you. Which three people (famous or otherwise) would you most like to invite to a dinner party?

Ali: Let's leave it as famous.

1. Barack Obama;
2. Warren Buffet;
3. Cristiano Ronaldo.

I feel like adding two more:

4. Megan Good;
5. Megan Fox.

The OC: Well Ali, it looks like your "services" are needed poolside. It appears Rihanna needs help finding her bikini bottoms in the pool. Auf wiedersehn! 		10/10/2014 04:19
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