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2184 msgs.
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England - Golden Team | 16/07/2014 11:06 |
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reading this thread from the beginning was realy cool , it realy cured my boredom. tumbs up to all who contributed . you made my day. | 16/07/2014 22:22 |
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Akpors went to a bar to relax his nerves this sunny afternoon. While at the bar Akpors shouted and said to the barman; "Give me a bottle of small stout and give everybody here 2 bottles of big stout let them enjoy because when I drink stout, everybody drinks stout." The barman obeyed people in the bar started hailing Akpors while sipping on their free drinks. Akpors ordered again: Barman! Give me a bottle of small stout and give everybody here 2 bottles of big stout let them enjoy because when i drink stout, everybody drinks stout. At this juncture everybody cheered and hailed Akpors louder. After some minutes again Akpors said: barman give me a plate of fish pepper soup and give everybody here 2 plates of fish pepper soup each, let them eat while i eat. The barman obeyed. They were so happy and heaped praises on Akpors while they ate anddrank. About an hour later, they were shocked to the marrow when Akpors beckoned on the Barman and said to him; "Bring me my bill and also give everybody here their bill too because when I pay my bill, everybody will pay their bills too! |
16/07/2014 23:16 |
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Akpors always secretly loved Ekaitte, but he never had the guts to tell her. One night, at around 11pm, he summoned some courage and sent her an sms saying, 'I love you so much, I wanna date u. Please reply and tell me how u feel.' A few seconds later he received a message alert on his phone. He was so really scared and tensed to open it that night, so he decided not to check the message till the morning. When he woke up next day he said his prayers,did his morning chores,brushed his teeth,ate his breakfast,took his bath,combed his hair and then climbed back to his bed. He gently picked up his phone to read the message saying ......"Dear customer, you have insufficient balance to complete your request, kindly recharge your account and try again!!!" |
16/07/2014 23:17 |
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79 msgs.
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Girl phone inbox. 1. I love you dear (Flank) 2.Can i take u out tonight? (Sir Joe) 3. Just manage dis myluv, 655332487901, 998312546987 (oga Emma 4. Sweetie am @ home, u can com now (Emeka) 5. Darling hav u seen D credit i sent 2 u? (Bom- boy) 6. Honey i will do whatever it takes just 4 u to be bu my side (Solo) 7. Consider it done (senator) 8. Hi dear, can i take u out 4 lunch? (chairman) A GUY'S PHONE INBOX- : 1. Dear customer you data bundle will soon expire (MTN) 2. Hey Dude, give me a break! I told u am getting married (Jane) 3. Don't u dare call dis number again! Idiot. (Jumoke) 4. Am warning you for the last time oo! (Oga Landlord) 5. Broda am still expecting the money 4 d admission form (Young-broda) 6. My son how are you? Pls send us some money (mama) 7. I have not seen my Period for 2 months, u hav to do somtin(Ijeoma) 8. Please send me credit (Ada) 9. Yellow your caller tune service has been extended (4100) TRUE OR FALSE? |
16/07/2014 23:18 |
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4708 msgs.
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man,you're so boring ...  |
16/07/2014 23:57 |
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Akpors: Happy Birthday Sweetie Girl: Thanks so much baby...So what's my birthday gift? Akpors: (pointing) Can you see that red BMW parked over there? Girl: Oh my God!....yes.... yes...yes...I can't believe this... Akpors: I bought you a toothbrush of the same colour... Girl: Na THUNDER go fire you |
17/07/2014 00:08 |
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79 msgs.
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Akpors and Ekaitte got married. Akpors was a "man about town"so to speak, but Ekaitte was very naive and uninformed about the birds and the bees. Akpors was a poor working man and could not afford to take time off for a honeymoon. So, that night they retired to his little shack. When Akpors was undressing Ekaitte said, "Oh Akpors, what is that?" Akpors being very quick thinking said, "Eki baby, I am the only man In the world with one of these."And, then, he proceeded to show her what it was for, and Ekaitte was happy. The next morning Akpors went off to work as usual. When he returned home that evening, Ekaitte was on the front porch obviously upset about something. "Akpors, you told me that you were the only man in the world with one of those, and I saw Saka the gardener changing his clothes behind the shed, and he had one, too." Thinking fast, Akpors said, "Oh, Eki baby, Eazy is my good friend. I had two of them so I gave him one. He is the only other man in the world with one of those." Ekaitte, not being knowledgeable about these things, accepted his answer, and they did their thing again that night. Akpors went off to work again the next morning and when he returned home, Ekaitte was very upset, stamping her foot on the porch. Akpors said, "Eki baby, what is the matter this time?" She Replied "you gave Saka the better one!!!" Akpors fainted |
17/07/2014 00:11 |
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79 msgs.
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Akpors dropped a girl at home, he puts his hand on the wall by the gate for support, lean towards her and says 'can I kiss you ? Girl : No not today Akpors: Please Girl: No This goes on for 10mins Then the girl's brother appears at the gate and said: Dad says whether you kiss him or not it's your decision , but tell that Moron to remove his hand from the intercom button, everyone at home is listening to your conversation!! |
17/07/2014 00:23 |
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Once upon a time, Akpors and Wife celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in the 25 years they had spent together. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well-known "Happy Going Marriage". Editor: "Sir. It is amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?" Akpors recalling his old honeymoon days said, "We went to Kano State for our honeymoon. Having selected horse riding as the first activity, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one. On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. Getting up from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said, "This is your first time". "She climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. She again kept calm and said, "This is your second time" and continued. When the horse dropped her the third time, she silently took out a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead! "I shouted at my wife: 'What did you do, you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?' She gave me a silent look, smiled and said: "This is your first time!". ...AND WE HAVE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!! |
17/07/2014 00:26 |
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