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  Forum » Doubts and questions » Admins, I need some help! Date
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 set 04/07/2011 19:34
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 I know this might be a bit of a pain but maybe worth checking. The next league game you play make a note of the starting line-up, and how many league matches each player has played. After the game check the players who should have started to see if their stats have all increased by 1 league game. If they have then at least you know they are all playing but just not showing up in the simulation line-up. 04/07/2011 19:42
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 Shake that thing 04/07/2011 19:57
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Burp.......

Excuse me...


Whatever..... Admins not gonna see this too.... 		04/07/2011 20:34
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 A goalkeeper was walking along the street one day when he heard screams from a nearby building. He looked up to see smoke billowing from a fourth-floor window and a woman leaning out holding a baby.
"Help ! Help!" screamed the woman, "I need someone to catch my baby!"

A crowd of onlookers had gathered, but none was confident about catching a baby dropped from such a great height. then the goalkeeper, stepped forward. "I'm a professional goalkeeper," he called to the woman. "I'm renonwned for my safe hands. Drop the baby and I will catch it. For me, it will be just like catching a ball."

The woman agreed:"Ok, then. When I drop my baby, treat it as if you were catching a ball."

On a count of three, the woman dropped the baby. Everyone held their breath as the goalkeeper lined himself up to catch it. There was a huge sigh of relief, followed by wild cheering as the goalkeeper caught the baby safely in his arms. Then he bounced it twice on the ground and kicked it 50 yards down the street.

Edited by rebsiot 04-07-2011 20:47 		04/07/2011 20:46
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rebsiot said:
A goalkeeper was walking along the street one day when he heard screams from a nearby building. He looked up to see smoke billowing from a fourth-floor window and a woman leaning out holding a baby.
"Help ! Help!" screamed the woman, "I need someone to catch my baby!"

A crowd of onlookers had gathered, but none was confident about catching a baby dropped from such a great height. then the goalkeeper, stepped forward. "I'm a professional goalkeeper," he called to the woman. "I'm renonwned for my safe hands. Drop the baby and I will catch it. For me, it will be just like catching a ball."

The woman agreed:"Ok, then. When I drop my baby, treat it as if you were catching a ball."

On a count of three, the woman dropped the baby. Everyone held their breath as the goalkeeper lined himself up to catch it. There was a huge sigh of relief, followed by wild cheering as the goalkeeper caught the baby safely in his arms. Then he bounced it twice on the ground and kicked it 50 yards down the street.

Edited by rebsiot 04-07-2011 20:47


What's better than nailing 10 babies to 1 tree?

Answer: nailing 1 baby to 10 trees. 		04/07/2011 21:26
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This thread is going to sink into a hole, and take everyone associated with it to hell.

thanks barca4lyfe... I needed another reason to be sent there...

 04/07/2011 21:32
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rebsiot said:

This thread is going to sink into a hole, and take everyone associated with it to hell.

thanks barca4lyfe... I needed another reason to be sent there...



haha you're the one who brought up baby jokes, i just took it to the next level. 		04/07/2011 21:34
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 1000readings 04/07/2011 23:26
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 When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know, but you know deserves it.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying, 'Hello.'

I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right fucking number!' And the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, 'You're an ****!' And hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word '****' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an ****!'

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic '****' calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'

He yelled, 'NO!' And slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're an ****!' And hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first **** (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that I'd better call the BMW ****, too.

I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

He said, 'Yes, it is.'

I then asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oak Tree Blvd., in Fairfax. It's a yellow ranch style house and the car's parked right out in front.'

I asked, 'What's your name?'

He said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'

I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said, 'Yes?'

I said, 'Don, you're an ****!'

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two ****s to call.

Then I came up with an idea...

I called **** #1.

He said, 'Hello'

I said, 'You're an ****!' (But I didn't hang up.)

He asked, 'Are you still there?'

I said, 'Yeah!'

He screamed, 'Stop calling me'

I said, 'Make me.'

He asked, 'Who are you?'

I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'

I said, '****, I live at 34 Oak Tree Blvd., in Fairfax , a yellow ranch style home and I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.'

I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, ****,' and hung up.

Then I called **** #2.

He said, 'Hello?'

I said, 'Hello, ****,'

He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'

I said, 'You'll what?'

He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass'

I answered, 'Well, ****, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I was on my way over to 34 Oak Tree Blvd, in Fairfax, to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 7 News about the gang war going down in Oak Tree Blvd in Fairfax .

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .

I got there just in time to watch two ****s beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really does work. 		05/07/2011 00:08
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